Troll Matchmaking
by Asagi Tsuki
Summary: Hermione is bored out of her mind and decides to play a prank on Harry, which isn't a prank, really, because it ends up well


**Troll Matchmaking**

By: Asagi Tsuki

Pairing: Harry/Draco

Summary: Hermione is bored out of her mind and decides to play a prank on Harry, which isn't a prank, really, because it ends up well

Warning: OOCness, non-magic AU

Disclaimer: obviously, Harry Potter is not written by me. If it were, it would be so lame, that this fandom would be non-existent. And I would be off writing another book instead of fanfics

A/N: saw a post in 9gag with this story. I changed a couple of things, obviously. Here's the link to the original post so that no one will sue me for plagiarism :P /gag/374058

**Troll Matchmaking**

Hermione walked back into her room after seeing her friend to the front door. Harry had dropped by to ask for her help for the upcoming Chemistry test, and while she had teased him about how he should have asked his crush to tutor him instead, she had helped him excitedly. After all, she needed to study for the test too and having a study partner was nice.

After they were done revising, Harry had borrowed her laptop while she sat on her bed reading the novel she had just bought the day before. At five, he excused himself, not wanting to impose on her family's dinner time.

That left her alone and bored in her room while waiting for dinner to be served. She was just about to shut her laptop down when something caught her eye.

Harry hadn't logged out of his Facebook account.

A malicious grin grew on her face before she cackled evilly. This should be fun.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Draco was browsing around after studying for a Math test. He opened a tab for Facebook and was about to message Pansy and ask if she wanted to study together for Chemistry when a new message notification popped up. Staring at it in confusion, he decided to see who it was from, and was surprised to see that it was from Harry Potter, one of the football team members.

"Hello Draco. It's me, Harry. Well, I know this is very out of the blue, but I've liked you for a while. Would you please give me a chance and go out with me?"

Draco stared at the message in a mixture of surprise and disbelief.

"How should I know you're not pulling a prank?"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Hermione laughed when she read Draco's reply. _She_ was pulling a prank, alright, but not Harry.

She never thought Draco was the insecure type, too.

"If my words mean anything to you, I swear that I am not playing with you. I've set my eyes on you since last year and my friends have been "encouraging" me to ask you out. So here I am. I'm sorry I don't have the courage to ask you out in person yet, but it's this or nothing, and I don't want nothing anymore."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Draco had decided to just call Pansy when he saw her last status update was of her saying she was going out for ice cream. By the time the reply from Harry came again, Pansy was already there. She had apparently wanted his help with Chemistry and had gone out to buy a tub of ice cream as a bribe for him.

"My, my, is this the same dork we always see?" Pansy commented at "Harry's" latest message. "He sounds sweet."

"He is sweet in his own way, I suppose," Draco commented. "I've seen him with his friends. He's a sweetheart."

"Then why don't you go out with him?" Pansy asked, lifting a questioning brow. "He doesn't sound like the type of person who dates people just to dump them and make them miserable."

"So you think I should agree?"

"Don't ask me. Do _you_ think you should agree?"

Draco looked thoughtful. "He seems like someone who'll be a good friend."

"Oh?" Pansy asked again. "That's not your type?"

Draco flushed slightly. "Well, it's not that he's not my type—"

"Draco, this is the problem most girls have," Pansy said, wagging her finger at him, and pointedly ignoring his protests at being called a _girl_. "We're attracted to the bad boys, get hurt constantly, but then when a good guy comes along, we friend-zone him."

"I don't—"

"Your relationship with Flint isn't healthy, Draco," Pansy pointed out. "You're much better off with Potter, in my opinion. Flint is an arsehole."

Draco pursed his lips and frowned in thought.

"Oh, here, let me reply for you."

"Pansy, wait!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Hermione was browsing around as she waited for Draco's reply and for Harry to realize that he had been "hacked."

When she saw that Draco had replied, she quickly checked what the new message said.

"If you have indeed set your eyes on me since last year, you should know that I am in a relationship. Why do you only say something now?"

She thought about it for a while. She remembered Harry telling her that Draco's boyfriend is a jerk. He had been complaining about how badly he treated Draco but still Draco would stick by his side and do whatever he wanted.

"It's unfair," Harry said that one time over a cup of tea that had gone cold when he decided to drink it. "Why does he love someone who doesn't love him and treats him like that? I can be a much better boyfriend than he."

She also remembered asking Harry why he hadn't made his feelings known.

"Because if he is happy like this, who am I to judge?" Harry asked back. "I don't see them often, but whenever I see them, I always see them arguing or something bad. What if when I'm not looking, he treats him well? I don't want to get in their way."

"But," Harry added then, "if the jerk really does treat him badly all the time, I'll take my chance and show him that not everyone is a disrespectful git like Flint."

So she wrote the reply.

"I do know that you have a boyfriend. I've been closely watching the two of you to make sure that you are happy. However, my observations show otherwise. I've decided that you don't deserve to suffer because of a boy who doesn't appreciate you, when you can have any man that loves you. If you would just give me a chance, I will show you."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Pansy was the one who squealed when the reply came. She cooed and gushed and scolded Draco for not letting such a sweet man try and take care of him.

"Honestly, Draco! I wish a man would come up to me and say that. You have one coming up to you and saying that to you, so what more do you want?"

"I don't know, Pans," Draco admitted. "It just doesn't seem real."

"Why don't you wait and see?" Pansy suggested. "If he means what he says, I'm sure he'll do something."

"I suppose."

"Now let me reply his message again."

"Pansy!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Hermione stared at the last message. She knew it didn't need a reply and she wasn't going to send one.

"Show me then."

She couldn't help the small smile that grew on her face. Harry had been miserable for too long, pining after someone he thought was out of reach, when all he needed to do was just come up and show him that he is worth more than Draco's current boyfriend.

Honestly, it wasn't such a hard feat. Everyone in the gossip mill had commented on Flint and Draco's unhealthy relationship and wondered when Draco would dump him.

She finally logged out of his account—after writing a troll status update that said "I'm lucky to have such a good friend like Hermione. She's the best and definitely the most patient tutor ever! What will I do without her?"—and picked up her phone to call Harry.

"Harry?"

"Yes, Herm?"

"You know, I just heard that Draco said he'll give you a chance to show him that you really do like him."

"Really? Where do you hear that from?"

"He said that. I promise. Now do your worst, Harry."

A pause made Hermione wonder if Harry was still on the other end or if he had just fainted.

"I will. Thanks, Herm."

"You're welcome. Don't erase the status update I made."

A groan answered her from the other end.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

Harry was mortified when he saw the message exchange Hermione had with Draco, but since he promised to Hermione and to Draco—although unwittingly—he was going to make good of his words.

During the next few days, Harry approached Draco with gifts, ranging from flowers to chocolates. He even gave him a small stuffed lion because he remembered Draco saying he wanted one, but Flint said it made him look girly. Since Flint was always off with his friends at lunch time, he also had taken to having lunch with Draco and his friends.

Pansy had come to adore Harry, even going as far as telling Draco that if he wouldn't put a claim on Harry soon, _she_ would.

It wasn't high school if rumours and gossips didn't travel in the speed of light. On the fourth day, Flint confronted Harry, telling him to back off and stop trying to steal someone else's boyfriend.

"Oh? Is he your boyfriend?" Harry asked defiantly. "I'm sorry, I didn't notice. Probably because you never spend any time with him, and when you do, you're treating him like rubbish!"

The two got into a huge fight and only stopped once half of the teachers as well as the headmaster were present to put an end to their fight. The two were sent to the nearest hospital for broken noses, torn lips, blackened eyes, and multiple bruises and cuts. They had to be put in different wings of the building so they wouldn't fight again.

The two were suspended from school, but Harry's suspension was cut short after Draco came to the Headmaster office and explained everything to them. He apologized because their fight was partially his fault. The Headmaster only smiled at him while the vice-headmistress shook her head and said something about teenage drama.

Hermione visited Harry with that news. She also brought her notes and his homework for him, and even went as far as to offer to catch up the lessons with him.

"Maybe later when I can actually write, Herm," Harry said, grinning at her. His right knuckles were bloody and some of them were dislocated after the fight and the doctor told him not to do anything with it for a while.

"That will teach you not to be such a brute," Hermione scolded.

Her lecture was cut short when a knock came from the door. She was surprised when she saw Draco standing there, but allowed him to enter while she left, giving the two some private time.

"Hello Harry," Draco greeted with a weak smile. "How are you feeling?"

Harry opened his mouth to answer, but paused when he saw the hint of a bruise just below Draco's right cheekbone. He lifted his left hand to touch it and scowled.

"The bastard did it, didn't he?" he asked. Flint, too, had broken his right hand.

"I told him we're over," Draco answered. "It's fine, Harry. Nothing to worry about."

"Are you sure?" Harry asked again, his thumb gently stroking Draco's cheek. "You should get an ice pack."

Draco burst out laughing. "You're ruining the moment."

"We were having a moment?"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.

The following week, Harry's relationship status changed from 'single' to 'in a relationship with Draco Malfoy' while Draco's relationship status changed from not shown to 'in a relationship with Harry Potter.' Their profile pictures also changed. Harry's changed from a close-up picture of a blooming lily into a picture of him and Draco, him grinning at the camera while Draco wrapped his arms around his shoulders from behind, resting his chin on Harry's head and beaming at the camera. Draco's changed from a picture of him alone to a picture of him pulling Harry close and pressing a kiss on his cheek while keeping his eyes on the camera. He liked that particular picture because Harry looked uncomfortable in an adorable sort of way.

In less than a week, everyone knew the two were dating. They knew either from their Facebook accounts, or from the fact that the two were now inseparable.

The two had just gone home from Hermione's house after a couple of hours studying for their upcoming Physics test. They had asked if she wanted to come along as they were going to get some ice cream, but she had refused, saying her mother would have a fit if she ate ice cream before dinner.

She went back to her room, intent on posting a status update about how she pulled a prank on a friend and ended up setting him up with his crush instead when she noticed something.

Draco hadn't logged out of his Facebook account on her laptop.

**End Story**

In case you don't know, the troll in the title doesn't refer to an actual troll in HP, or a stupid person. It refers to the act of trolling, that is, pulling pranks on people. The pranks are usually somewhat cruel, and that's why it's called trolling

I wanted to include what Hermione did with Draco's account, but decided against it. It's up to your imagination, really :D Facebook is really the place for trolling people :P especially those who often forget to log out

Hope you enjoyed that :D if you do, do leave a comment coz I'm a comment whore :P


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